I must admit quickly while I go that I love Jesus Christ the Lord. And to any of you who do not know Him, seek the truth of Him. Do not get caught up in the misconceptions and what knots. Remember I love you all, and to all of you…may God reign His blessings on you. OH!!! And by the way, I am going to go get my new heart…
If you really want to see it…
This is the link to that news cast I was in for all you who keep bugging me about missing it. http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=6985454&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=3.5.1
Enjoy…
A Terrible Curse, or, A Wonderous Existence…
To say that at this point in my life I am not confused would be an affront to my own desire to portray complete honesty. Simply, I am. Confused that is. I am not I AM. You see, today was one of those days few ever get to experience. Setting foot out into the warm air, this time not to exercise for recovery, was as wonderous as it gets. The taste of freedom sets the senses reeling and the heart a-pumping.
Today was a day amoungst days for I went on my first excursion from the hospital. It was interesting, to say the least. A nice day out with the folks, well four hours. The first time I was adorned in regular clothes in a while. Odd enough, that was no hard transition. Having on the shoes, the pull-over tee-shirt, the jeans, and the shoes all made today a comfortable return to some resemblance of a normal life. But of course, as a it goes so many times, there is a hitch. This time was my heart.
No. No I did not have another heart attack, or stroke-out obviously. It was the machine that I am attached to. Junior, as I am calling it now-a-days, was an eye-sore I found out. Well camoflauged as a suitcase, many did not even second guess the object. However, there were looks and that was what I was interested in. To those that noticed that this was no suitcase, they stared on with wonderment or confusion. Cool I say. I like tripping up people to see if they are on their toes.
Yet, though it is wonderful I am making strides forward, it seems to be such a daunting task to educate those willing to listen about the machine. Each day I am out, people will wonder what it is. And, that I do not mind, as long as the Lord lets me keep my sanity. A terrible curse to have such a task. But, God is already giving me a new release.
For years I listened to albums of music to relax and calm down. As a musician I got sick of that, for being around music may tire one out if they are not careful. But, today, the day of my first outting…a rekindling. As we hit up the restaurant we hit up, the air was that of peace. The meal was exquisite, and the broken breeze from the fans above set the mood for the music. Jazz. My addiction of old. They played wonderful classics all the time while we ate. Later, being that it was my friends birthday, I bought a jazz album. And, not only is my addiction rekindled, it is blazing as it grows. A healthy addiction, may this one stick and keep myself in check. To all I recommend some tunes to relax and remove stress with. Sorry for todays blog being a bit on the boring side, well that is the way I see it. But, pardon me, it is bedtime in a matter of moments. GOD bless, and enjoy life…watch out, it is like a candle and it will burn out.
Noel…
There is pain and suffering
In this world I know
But you just gotta
Keep on moving on.
With kisses for my sweetheart
Respect for my friends
Love for everybody
And for God, knees bent.
Noel knows well, he knows well!
Noel knows well, he knows well!
Well there is war.
And peace.
In this world
I know.
But you just gotta keep movin on…
With kisses for your sweetheart
Respect for your friends
Love for everybody
And for God, knees bent.
Noel knows well, he knows well!
Noel knows well, he knows well!
(Chords for verses are D A G, and the chorus A G D)
What to say about nothing…
What is there to do these days? Take a long walk in the breezy evening air? Maybe cooking will fit the bill, and take my time, turning it to worth filled moments. What there is to do these days, is not something I get to plan that much. For instance, today there was the way I woke up. It began as no other day does, unless you are famous.
This morning, while dreaming of world football and ladies, my friend and nurse came into the room to wake me up. I was still tired out the rear, but I still arose to meet the day. Even though the rising was slow in pace. She stated with some demanding in her tone that I was going to be interviewed this morning. Interviewed? Wow, for what a job? My sleeping brain didn’t catch on quite yet.
When I realized they took my press consent and got the news to come, I was still barely awake. To make matters worse, channel 5 was going to be here at the hospital in one hour. Thus, like any guy…I did not panic. I gently rose out of bed, swept my short hair, and didn’t even bother changing. What do I care what the world thinks of me in this situation? I tell you what, not much. Though I did have on a nice dress shirt. Maybe they’ll crop the shot to include just the shirt.
Time rolls around right past my breakfast and as quickly as I was told about it the crew was setting up. Still tired I began a regiment of coffee, to make my eyes actually open for the camera. You know what they say is true, it is hard sometimes not to look into the camera when it is rolling. Either way, they began with an interview of myself, and then my doctor. Lastly, they shot some b-roll shots, but not before talking to my mother.
Remembering the position I and so many others are in, she made a wonderfully valid point that I should have championed, and probably will in the future. Donations. A horrible thing that one must die for another to live, but it is very important to do so. So many do not sign up as a donor for a plethora of different reasons. But, thinking on it a bit…one may discover righteousness in the small act. A simple mark on your license and giving of yourself to others. Selfless conditioning of the human race. A wonderful concept brought forth by many of our heros. Jesus, first and foremost, died for all mankind and rose for again showing the power of God. Gandhi, Robin Hood, and the forefathers of our nation all gave of self for others. There is too much at stake to make the wrong decision. Know pride in what you do and do what will make others proud of you.
As the message hits the airways tomorrow, I hope it reverberates along with the many voices already shouting it. On and on as many rain drops rippling the pond, effecting change and betterment of us all. What is there to say about nothing? Nothing on your license nor your heart? Nothing in the patients or awaiting those who will become sick? Nothing to keep mankinds ever growing ethics in check? There is too much to have ever been put aside.
Raise!!!
Raise your glass to the evening
Have yourself another drink
Raise your glass to the evening
For tomorrow you may die.
Well, when you wake up in the morn
All the day ahead of you
How will you do all the things
You know you really need to
Where will you find yourself tonight
Will things be alright, so tight
Will you gather up with your friends
And start to sing again…
Raise your glass to the evening
Have yourselves another drink
Raise your glass to the evening
For tomorrow you may die.
Well, when things are hard to say
And all your pain has got in the way
Take out your bible it’s time to play
The full on living water game
Keep it up all day
Till you meet with your friends later
Then you can with new meaning state
Come lift your glass, come on let’s raise…
Raise your glass to the evening
Have yourself another drink
Raise your glass to the evening
For tomorrow you may die.
To the Waterfall
Sun is shining bright and spreading warmth around
Clouds are floating down close to the ground
The mid-day peak in warmth comes
Time to escape the Sun
Behind the falls go
Shade
Water
Flow river flow
Heat grows and grow
The fortress inwhich I hide
Will become better to within abide
And upon evenings fall I emerge to the top
And upon the fortress my body will sit down and stop, I think…
“may the grains die
may the plants grow
may the fruit be eaten
and back to the ground they go”
Under the stars I begin
To start a new journey outward and witnin
To new places far and wide I will search to newly abide
And new fortresses I will seek remembering the fall inwhich I stayed in side
So be it…
With what fortitude the nations factions
Rely in circumstance and satisfaction
And with divisable basis for their distinction
The land is brought to improper action
Where for will One go
The choices are slim to no
Not one, nor the other know
What One needs to grow
Come now SAVING GRACE be
At the footsteps, in front of we
A nation indivisable without YOU, please
Lead us on to be YOUR nation of peace.
Grandstanding to each other’s landing
What keeps these men from sharing?
By constitution that is proper…
Yet neither reads so to prosper.
Will what each to each needs
But the HIGHER WILL will take the lead
And the institution shall remain at faction
For has not taken place this action…
Come now SAVING GRACE be
At the footsteps, in front of we
A nation indivisable without YOU, please
Lead us on to be YOUR nation of peace.
Swearing upon paper is good
It comes from the WRITER and the wood
But without HEART one who should
Take HEART will not, nor swearers followers would
Give us this day our daily needs
Remembering the ONE who had to bleed
So we could try and make out nice
And bring to us YOUR meaning of life.
Come now SAVING GRACE be
At the footsteps, in front of we
A nation indivisable without YOU, please
Lead us on to be YOUR nation of peace.
So be it I say and I pray,
In no other way will I not play
The song so loud as the trumpets pound
Let the message of ONE continue to resound
The joy of placid waters…the thrill of waters that rage.
After months of being in the situation I am in, there is plenty I have learned to occupy my time, including this blog. Television has become a better friend, and books, a new one. More and more the small things I get to do matter. Some say it is amazing, but I see it as the only thing I have to do. By that I mean, the relearning to walk and the “courage” to go through such a surgery. Truth be told, with little choice it is easy to choose the slim chance at life. Or at least in my point of view.
Well, eitherway my life has become as placid waters…peaceful with little disruptions, laid back like a distorted vacation of sorts. But the desire for more is paramount. It keeps me alive, it keeps me sain. Wanting the little disruptions of everyday life has consumed me. There is this song I once wrote called “Placid Waters”. Fitting in a way, for it goes:
“Oh placid waters of my soul, be refreshed, rattle and jolt…Lord come with your living water, oh Lord your living water…”
I would love to see “living water”, the spirit and miracles “rattle and jolt” my life, and may He do the same for you.
hospitality for hospitalizations
It is amazing to see who is truly your friend and who is less than such. For many years I measured friendship in presence, presence in hardship, presence in fun-times and in medium times. The truth is that I still consider presence, or being there, a hugh part of friendship. Not the only part though…of course general kindness is another factor.
But when one becomes hospitalized with a life-threatning condition, and depends on others to take care of him or her, the word friendship takes on not only a new set of meanings, but also it becomes a driving force for survival. Doctors and nurses become more than just such, they become your friend almost instantly. Even without any history between the patient and the personnel. Further, the people who are your family and closest friends reveal themselves as such better than ever. One example of this is my best friend has chosen to take on an active role in my care-taking. Not to say though that we won’t just be hanging out most the time. This type of fortification of friendship is beyond remarkable and nearly will drive one to tears. Such kindness is amazingly reassuring.
Without it I could not see one surviving such ill times as easy. Speaking without such kindness, many people choose to distance themselves from the patient. In my case, it has been several people real close to my heart. This show of disregard measures up to what some may deem a destroyer of friendship, or simply put, a betrayal. Though such behavior is highly present in the world of the sick and ill-fated, it should not be so with love ones. Understandable happenstance aside, if you claim love for another…then you should be there not only to enjoy the good times with him or her, but also claim the seat next to them in ailment. Such as to proove ones loyalty, love, and commitment. With such done, the patient, once pulled through, has the honorable obligation to be there for the people who were there for him or her. Thus, this system creates a support system that strengthens peoples lives and makes a community more of a family.
To those who have not been there for your loved ones, just remember it is not too late ever to attempt reconciliation. May God be with you if you are such a person and may your attempts to redemption be fruitful and gain you stronger friendships
